The Two-Chair Kink Map
Ten dimensions · both sides of the scene · a conversation starter
This maps what you're drawn to across ten dimensions, in both chairs, plus why you're drawn to it. It's for reflection and conversation, not a label. Take it in layers: start quick, come back deeper, reload your code and try a tweak.
Step 1What are you after?
Why you play, whichever chair you're in. This is the heart of the map: activities are ranked by how well they serve these, and Compare starts from where your reasons and a partner's line up.
Step 2Sketch your radar
For each chair, how much you're drawn to or put off by each dimension, from −5 (avoid) through 0 (neutral) to +5 (want). Tap a dimension's name, on the chart or by its slider, to see which activities are high and low on it. Skip a chair you're not interested in.
In the top chair
Leading, giving, holding
In the bottom chair
Following, receiving, letting go
Your sketchWhat your ratings implyNeutral (0)
Step 3Rate activities
Both chairs side by side, sorted by how well each activity fits your reasons and your sketch. Tap a score to see what's driving it. A hard no is a limit, shown to partners as a conversation, not hidden. Not now means maybe someday: parked, not ruled out.
Step 4Experience and details
Everything you marked Curious or Want opens up here. Experience lets partners see where one of you could guide the other. Which parts lets you keep an activity but leave out a piece of it, such as caregiving without age regression.
Your shortcode
Carries your reasons, sketch, ratings, experience, flavors, acts and hard nos, packed into as few characters as it needs. Reload it any time to pick up where you left off or try a variation.
Anyone who takes the code apart can read it, so share it with people you'd trust with your answers. Flavors, acts, experience and whys are saved for dynamics you marked Curious or Want. Copy invite gives you a message to send, with your code and how to use it. Codes from older versions of this page still load.
What your answers add up to. Everything here is a prompt for reflection, with a therapist, a partner, or on your own. None of it is a diagnosis or a recommendation.
What you're after
Your reasons, for both chairs. Activities below and in Compare are ranked by how well they serve these.
Top chair
Bottom chair
Your sketchWhat your ratings imply
Scatter view
Pick any two dimensions and which profiles to show. Each dynamic gets one ring per profile, inside to outside; the stronger the ring, the more that profile is into it. For each profile, the eight unrated dynamics closest to it light up faintly. Hard nos show as red exclusion zones.
Profiles
Light up what's close
Tap a dot to see its name.
Might be fun as top
Unrated activities that best fit your reasons and profile, scored out of 10.
Might be fun as bottom
Unrated activities that best fit your reasons and profile, scored out of 10.
Your limits and what's near them
Hard nos often sit right next to things you enjoy. Seeing both side by side helps you put words to exactly where the line is.
Reflection prompts
One per reason you picked, with the activities you're into that tend to serve it.
Profile card
An image of your two radars, top interests and limits, for a profile or a message. Your shortcode is printed on it so people can load the full map.
Paste someone's shortcode. It starts with why you'd play together: the reasons you share. Then each card pairs one of your chairs with their opposite chair, with what you both want ordered by how well it serves those shared reasons, what neither of you has tried that would suit you both, and limits to talk through. No overall score.
Every dynamic, placed by its estimated profile. Pick two dimensions to project onto, or use the original matrix view. Tap one for its full radar, flavors, acts and nearest neighbors.
Tap a dot or a name.
Project files
Everything needed to continue this project on another device: this page, a README, the decision log, next directions, and the data and code spec. Download them all as a zip, or view and copy them one at a time.
The ten dimensions
Each dynamic has an estimated score from 0 to 10 on each. These are starting points for conversation, not measurements.
Reasons come first
Activities are a means; what they do for people is the point. Two people who both want connection and rest can find many ways there, and an activity chosen because your reasons line up is a better start than one chosen because you both ticked it. Each activity has an estimate of which reasons it tends to serve (often or sometimes); these are starting points, not rules.
If something you're drawn to touches past experiences, that's common and not a red flag. A kink-aware therapist can help you explore it safely; this tool can give you words to start with.
The original matrix: motives from both chairs
The two-axis view this map grew out of. Tap any motive to see the other side.
Nothing selected yet.
Three dials, not one role
"Top" and "bottom" hide three separate questions, and any combination is possible. Switches move along all three, sometimes within one scene.
Action
TopBottom
Who is doing things to whom.
Power
DominantSubmissive
Who directs the scene. A service top acts while submitting.
Sensation
SadistMasochist
Who enjoys giving intensity, and who enjoys receiving it.
Who is it for?
Adapted from Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent, which comes from touch and consent education rather than kink. It separates who is acting from who the act is for. It fits sensation play well, blurs in power exchange, and fits loosely where there's no touch.
For me
For you
I'm doing
TakeI act for my own pleasure, within your limits.
ServeI act to give you what you want.
Done to me
AcceptYou act on me, for my pleasure.
AllowI let you act on me, for your pleasure.
The work each chair carries
Top
Honest negotiation, knowing techniques and risks, watching closely, holding responsibility, aftercare, noticing their own drop.
Bottom
Knowing and stating limits, communicating during play, honest feedback, managing their own state, asking for aftercare, noticing their own drop.